I’m Just A Traveler In Other People’s Reality — Image by a Fellow Higher On The Trail
Invoking the Full Meaning of Life
How best to express sharing new life
when each moment deserves its face.
What seems apropos for the moment,
when the next moment fosters a unique experience.
Is it in a number?
The number of days?
The number of thoughts?
The number of heartbeats?
The number of turns?
The number of prayers?
. . . you can count the ways,
only to still not know life’s score.
Is it in a word?
Loving?
Caring?
Sharing?
Giving?
Sheltering?
Words to communicate thoughts and feelings
when manifested in knowledge and experience.
Or is it in art?
Transforming thought,
expressing feeling,
experiencing emotions and
the desire to evoke life,
even when distance
appears to separate a lifelong bond.
I wrote this in the 1990s. Since then, retirement and moved 1,000 miles from where we had spent 25 years, putting distance between bonds. In the twelve years since moving, we have watched the bonds drift away, causing me to question the desire to evoke life, even when distance can’t separate a lifelong bond.
We moved to the Sonoran desert with the illusion that friends and family would be beating a path to our new home in the desert southwest — not such luck. So we try staying in touch through social media, often questioning whether the bonds were ever real — confirming that we remain tourists in other people’s reality.
Old Jules was a 70-year-old hermit, living with three cats somewhere in the Texas Hill Country and writing a blog I enjoyed reading from time to time. Old Jules, who passed away April 21, 2020 at 74, had concluded that he has spent over a third of his life “being insignificant in the lives of others.”
In 1992, after 25 years of marriage and a career of 20 years, he began a new career and life in Santa Fe.
“All secure in the knowledge the extended family and friends remaining behind were part of my life in which I’d been and remained important.”
Over time he concluded it was all an illusion.
“Kids, young adult nephews, and nieces I’d coddled and bounced on my knee pealed out of my life-like layers of an onion. Most I never heard from again.”
He began to realize that he was merely tolerated, “. . . a piece of furniture in their lives.”
Over time he rebuilt his life with a more potent dose of skepticism concerning his worth and place in the lives of others, which resulted in his becoming a hermit.
“I no longer assume I’m important in the lives of other human beings and get my satisfaction in knowing I’m at least relevant to the cats.
Because cats, though sometimes dishonest, aren’t capable of the depth and duration of dishonesty humans indulge regularly.”
Old Jules had come to believe “. . . that life is entirely too important and too short to be wasted in insignificance.”
His new awareness of life is now in teaspoon measurements, “. . . measured in contracts with cats not equipped to lie. A determination in the direction of significance measured in teaspoons of reality,
as opposed to 55-gallon drums of dishonesty and self-delusion.”
“Teaspoons, I find, don’t spill away as much life in the discovery
when they’re found to be just another ego-wart of pride and self-importance.”
Bonds, illusion or not, have difficulty being when the moments are separated by time and distance, becoming gleams of light, for an instant, in the long night.
I understand where Old Jules was coming from and feel his disillusionment. There is, however, a binding force that comes from a homesick longing to be whole, to have completion, as Plato described in the myth of the human halves passionately striving towards one. Like all mythical totalities, humans are subject to the triple dramaturgical rhythm of primal completeness, separation catastrophe, and restoration. The most significant attraction effect occurs between the second and third acts of life’s drama, which is where I find myself today — maybe this is also where Old Jules is. I am learning to understand myself from a new divide, one half experienced, the other inexperienced — in such a way that I’m learning to understand myself in new ways.
Yesterday (08/05/20), I drove up the Catalina Highway to Mt. Lemmon. The highway was opened to the general public last Saturday morning for the first time since the Bighorn Fire began in early June. The mountain town of Summerheaven, successfully protected from the fire, is now open for business, although still having to follow HOVID-19 business regulations in Arizona.
Oracle Ridge and Mt. Lemmon Fire Station
Before entering Summerheaven, there are two ridges going north; Red Ridge and Oracle Ridge. Both ridges were severely burned during the 2003 Aspen Fire that destroyed almost all the homes in Summerheaven. Over the years since the Aspen Fire, the forest canopy has still not returned on these ridges. However, a lot of ground cover containing some bushes and small trees had returned. On June 17th, the two ridges were again burned. On June 19th, I posted two time-delay videos of the fire coming through the area pictured in the above photo. The fire station and most of the pines behind it were spared — not true of the storage building and new growth since the 2003 fire. It has now been 50 days since the fire occurred. Note how green the scared area has become with the return of ferns on the mountain slopes.
Except for the highway and Summerheaven, the public is not allowed to go anywhere in the National Forest. From what I was able to observe from the highway, most of the hiking trails with trailheads near the highway are ok, at least partially. Parts of Lower Butterfly Trail and Green Mountain Trail don’t look good from a distance.
My guess is that the trails in the forest around Summerheaven were burned like the two ridges north of Summerheaven. From a review of burn scar maps, the Marshall Gulch area to the north and west, which would include Carter Canyon, has been badly burned. For those of you who hike this area, It’s possible a lot of the Marshall and Mint Springs trails were destroyed. We may not know until November.
Since Sabino Creek originates along the Marshall Gulch Trail, the monsoon rains can result in a lot of potential flash flooding coming down through Sabino Canyon. So far, the rain amounts are very below average, but we are still in the monsoon season.
The SCVN Friday Nature Hike was Aspen Trail, Marshall Gulch Trail loop,
which would provide an opportunity to see the beautiful fall colors on Mt. Lemmon.
The Aspen Trail has a grove of aspens, which I blogged in a previous posting.
After hiking through the aspen grove, I began to get out in front of the nature hikers.
With less fall color on the remaining part of the Aspen Trail I decided to pick-up my pace.
I knew from past experience there would be plenty of fall color on the Marshall Gulch Trail.
I was aware that my buddies, Jim Thompson and Tom Markey, were hiking the trail;
hence, I might be able to catch up with them.
I first began hiking with Jim and Tom nine years ago. They were part of the Monday Morning Milers (MMM),
the first hiking group with which I started hiking.
Most of the MMM were lifetime hikers in southeast Arizona, many of whom were in their 80’s.
Jim recently celebrated his 90th birthday.
While Tom is a youngster like me, he’s 79.
Images by kenne
It seems, as one becomes older, That the past has another pattern, And ceases to be a mere sequence — Or even development: the latter a partial fallacy Encouraged by superficial notions of evolution, Which becomes, in the popular mind, A means of disowning the past. The moments of happiness — not the sense of well-being, Fruition, fulfillment, security or affection, Or even a very good dinner, but the sudden illumination — We had the experience but missed the meaning, And approach to the meaning restores the experience In a different form, beyond any meaning We can assign to happiness.
“In every walk with nature, one receives far more than he seeks.”
— John Muir
Yesterday’s SCVN Friday hike took place on the Sunset Trail,
a popular summertime hike on Mt. Lemmon connecting hikers
to Marshall Gulch without having to drive all the way up through Summerhaven.
Helen and Ellen ready for the hike.
Ricki and Ellen, out guides make a backup copy of the SCVN Sign-in Sheet.
Ricki goes over the Safety Rules with the hikers.
Barbara and Jeff on the trail.
A view from Sunset Rock of the hikers on the trail.
Tosh and Liz examining rocks.
Ellen and Ricki have a snake before hiking back to the trailhead. –– Images by kenne
Hiking Sunset and Marshall Gulch Trails On Mt. Lemmon (July 12, 2019) — Images by kenne
Before beginning our SCVN Friday hike on Mt. Lemmon, we crossed paths with an old friend, Jasmine.
Jasmine is well known to those hiking on Mt. Lemmon.
It is common for hikers to rest on Sunset Rock taking in the view, especially at sunset.
Looking down on a part of the Sunset Trail where a group of kids are hiking
We pause for the leader to hydrate and take a picture.
Some of the hikers decided to park their asses at Marshall Gulch.
Fellow Naturalist David Dean pointed out this Aspen Sunflower at Marshell Gulch on Mt. Lemmon last Friday. It can be found in ponderosa pine forests and is best identified by each leaf has five prominent veins. Otherwise, it can easily be mistaken for other yellow mountains wildflowers.
The monsoon rains are bringing out the best of summer in the desert.
Hikers in a New Aspen Grove Up from Marshall Gulch On Mt. Lemmon — Image by kenne
In 2003 the Aspen Fire destroyed many homes in Summerheaven and thousands of acres on Mt. Lemmon. Last Friday the Sabino Canyon Volunteer Naturalists led hike was on the Aspen Loop that goes through some of the areas destroyed, now recovered by new aspen and pine groves.
A precursor to the Aspen Fire was the Bollock Fire, 2002 in the eastern part of the Catalinas. Parts of the area burned in 2002 is now experiencing the Burro Fire that started Friday and has now consumed 9,000 acres. The Burro Fire is one of a half-dozen wildfires in the Coronado National Forest. Did I say it is hot and very dry in southeastern Arizona?
Having begun back in June, the Sabino Canyon Volunteer Naturalists (SCVN) summer hikes in the higher elevations of the Santa Catalina Mountains now has two hikes remaining on Mt. Lemmon before starting our trek down the mountain in October, offering our Friday hikes in the desert. This year our summer Friday hikes have experienced a good turnout, no storms and no injuries, and as usual fun has been had by all.
As an organization, SCVN is always ready to party, so in the middle of last Friday’s hike a spontaneous (plan by some) surprise birthday party for Rick and Maribeth took place in the Marshall Gulch picnic area. It was also an opportunity for some who have not been able to hike regularly this summer, to make it out and spend time together.
kenne
SCVN (and invited public) party in Marshall Gulch (August 14, 2015) — Images and video by kenne (Click on any of the images for a larger view in a slideshow format.)
“SCVN has the best people in the whole world,
and anyone who hangs around with SCVN
are the best people in the whole world.”
Images by kenne
(CLICK ON ANY OF THE IMAGES TO SEE A LARGER VIEW IN A SLIDESHOW FORMAT.)
The last SCVN summer hike on Mt. Lemmon included two very special naturalists, BJ and Jim Martin. The two have been active members of SCVN for over thirty years. I first met BJ and Jim on one of the summer hikes four years ago. BJ would wait at one of the picnic tables, and/or visit with people at one of the mountain visitor centers, while Jim hiked with us — sometimes as a guide.
This summer the Martin’s had not been on the hikes, so it was a pleasant surprise when they were at the Catalina Highway carpool location.
The trails scheduled for our last summer hike would take us in and out of the Marshall Gulch picnic area on Mt. Lemmon, so BJ would select a picnic table where we would later have lunch. Part of the hike would take us through some of the areas burned during the 2003 Aspen Fire. Appropriately, one of the naturalists, Jeff Ornstein, wore his Aspen Fire t-shirt. Now eleven years out, the mountain vegetation is making a welcomed comeback, while signs of the fire still remain.
As I hiked with Jim, I kept trying to channel what he would have been seeing before the Aspen Fire, the closest I will ever get to experiencing the Aspen Trail before the fire.
Jim may not be hiking as often as he use to, however, both Jim and BJ remain active working nature demonstration tables at the Sabino Canyon Visitors Center.
Yesterday, I lead the SCVN Friday hike on Mt. Lemmon. The hike was one I had recommended when the summer schedule was being built, which involved hiking several trails from the parking lot near the mountain top. Since the hike would begin at the top and go down to Marshall Gulch, it was necessary to do a car shuttle by first leaving a car at Marshall Gulch, then driving on up the Sky Valley road to the mountain top.
Looking back up at Lemmon Rock Lookout
The hike began on a path next to the Trico electrical station, leading us to the Mt. Lemmon Trail, which we followed to the road leading to the Lemmon Rock Lookout. Just below the lookout is the Lemmon Rock trailhead. The trail is steep, dropping almost 2,00 feet over a distance of 2.3 miles, ending at the Wilderness Rock Trail.
View back up the mountain as we headed down the Lemmon Rock Trail
We began the hike from the top of the mountain in mostly sunny weather. By the time we reached the Wilderness Rock Trail, which is where we stopped for a snack, a few more clouds were gathering above the mountain. It was at this point on the Wilderness Rock Tail last year that we were caught in a storm as we headed back to Marshall Gulch. Then, as it was yesterday, the first half of the hike had only a few scattered clouds.
Ann, Jeff, Joyce and Barb
As we set around having a snack and sharing conversation, those of us who were also on the Wilderness Rock hike last year began to noticed that the weather conditions were beginning to look quite similar to last year, so we decided to continue our hike on to Marshall Gulch. Just a last year, not long after continuing, we began to hear thunder with a few drops of rain falling.
Joyce, Barb and Tim
The clouds got darker, followed by more thunder, lightening and rain, all of which continued for the remainder of the hike. I couldn’t help experiencing déjà vu thoughts and wondering if in some way I have been cursed by the mountain gods.
Oracle Ridge and Mt. Lemmon Fire Station
After hiking through the aspen grove, I began to get out in front of the nature hikers.
I was aware that my buddies, Jim Thompson and Tom Markey, were hiking the trail;
I first began hiking with Jim and Tom nine years ago. They were part of the Monday Morning Milers (MMM),
Most of the MMM were lifetime hikers in southeast Arizona, many of whom were in their 80’s.
Jim recently celebrated his 90th birthday.
While Tom is a youngster like me, he’s 79.
Images by kenne
Yesterday’s SCVN Friday hike took place on the Sunset Trail,
Helen and Ellen ready for the hike.
Ricki and Ellen, out guides make a backup copy of the SCVN Sign-in Sheet.
Ricki goes over the Safety Rules with the hikers.
Barbara and Jeff on the trail.
A view from Sunset Rock of the hikers on the trail.
Tosh and Liz examining rocks.
Ellen and Ricki have a snake before hiking back to the trailhead.
Hiking Sunset and Marshall Gulch Trails On Mt. Lemmon (July 12, 2019) — Images by kenne
It is common for hikers to rest on Sunset Rock taking in the view, especially at sunset.
Looking down on a part of the Sunset Trail where a group of kids are hiking
We pause for the leader to hydrate and take a picture.
Some of the hikers decided to park their asses at Marshall Gulch.
Aspen Sunflower — Image by kenne
Hikers in a New Aspen Grove Up from Marshall Gulch On Mt. Lemmon — Image by kenne
Hiking The Sunset Trail Out Of Marshall Gulch On Mt. Lemmon — Images by kenne
Looking back up at Lemmon Rock Lookout
View back up the mountain as we headed down the Lemmon Rock Trail
Ann, Jeff, Joyce and Barb
Joyce, Barb and Tim
Kenne, Barb and Tim
Becoming is Superior to Being 