“Nothing is worse than to finish a good shit,
then reach over and find the toilet paper container empty.
Even the most horrible human being on earth
deserves to wipe his ass.”
Kenne philosophizing on becoming the next president of the Sabino Canyon Volunteer Naturalists (SCVN),
after returning from visiting friends and family in east Texas.
no leaders, please
invent yourself and then reinvent yourself don’t swim in the same slough. invent yourself and then reinvent yourself and stay out of the clutches of mediocrity.
invent yourself and then reinvent yourself, change your tone and shape so often that they can never categorize you.
reinvigorate yourself and accept what is but only on the terms that you have invented and reinvented.
be self-taught.
and reinvent your life because you must; it is your life and its history and the present belong only to you.
I stared hard at the hard-edges painting it was the sharp translucent line meant to be a glimpse at a micro-mini segment of the lace trim on a skirt wrapped around the gorgeous curves of a women longing for me but inaccessible of the canvas at least I could imagine her
That’s when I ordered my third tequila drank it straight like #s 1 & 2 every woman at the bar glowed more beautiful than the ladies on a French postcard and shed ten years just like that too bad I am more aged than tequila añejo not that hard or sharp anymore
While reading the poetry of Writers in Performance Series presenters this morning, I became distracted by an email message from the Tom Russell@yahoogroups.com Re: A Cover Song Request in Memory of Warren Zevon. Russell seems to have great respect for Zevon’s work, but probably none more than “Carmelita,” which he combines with Charles Bukowski’s, “Crucifix In A Deathhand,” on his Modern Art CD. By putting the two together, Russell demonstrates his appreciation and understanding of Bukowski’s words and the lyrics of Warren Zevon. “Crucifix In A Deathhand” is my favorite Bukowski poem.
Crucifix In a Death Hand
yes, they begin out in a willow, I think
the starch mountains begin out in the willow
and keep right on going without regard for
pumas and nectarines
somehow these mountains are like
an old woman with a bad memory and
a shopping basket.
we are in a basin. that is the
idea. down in the sand and the alleys,
this land punched-in, cuffed-out, divided,
held like a crucifix in a deathhand,
this land bought, resold, bought again and
sold again, the wars long over,
the Spaniards all the way back in Spain
down in the thimble again, and now
real estaters, subdividers, landlords, freeway
engineers arguing. this is their land and
I walk on it, live on it a little while
near Hollywood here I see young men in rooms
listening to glazed recordings
and I think too of old men sick of music
sick of everything, and death like suicide
I think is sometimes voluntary, and to get your
hold on the land here it is best to return to the
Grand Central Market, see the old Mexican women,
the poor . . . I am sure you have seen these same women
many years before
arguing
with the same young Japanese clerks
witty, knowledgeable and golden
among their soaring store of oranges, apples
avocados, tomatoes, cucumbers –
and you know how these look, they do look good as if you could eat them all
light a cigar and smoke away the bad world.
then it’s best to go back to the bars, the same bars
wooden, stale, merciless, green
with the young policeman walking through
scared and looking for trouble,
and the beer is still bad
it has an edge that already mixes with vomit and
decay, and you’ve got to be strong in the shadows
to ignore it, to ignore the poor and to ignore yourself
and the shopping bag between your legs
down there feeling good with its avocados and
oranges and fresh fish and wine bottles, who needs
a Fort Lauderdale winter?
25 years ago there used to be a whore there
with a film over one eye, who was too fat
and made little silver bells out of cigarette
tinfoil. the sun seemed warmer then
although this was probably not
true, and you take your shopping bag
outside and walk along the street
and the green beer hangs there
just above your stomach like
a short and shameful shawl, and
you look around and no longer
see any
old men.
– – Charles Bukowski (Source: Oldpoetry.com)
There’s a video on YouTube of Russell in a live performance talking and singing about Charles Bukowski, Warren Zevon and Dave Van Ronk that will give you a better feel for this morning distraction.
like in a chair the color of the sun
as you listen to lazy piano music
and the aircraft overhead are not
at war.
where the last drink is as good as
the first
and you realize that the promises
you made yourself were
kept.
that’s plenty.
that last: about the promises:
what’s not so good is that the few
friends you had are
dead and they seem
irreplaceable.
as for women, you didn’t know enough
early enough
and you knew enough
too late.
and if more self-analysis is allowed: it’s
nice that you turned out well-
honed,
that you arrived late
and remained generally
capable.
outside of that, not much to say
except you can leave without
regret.
until then, a bit more amusement,
a bit more endurance,
leaning back
into it.
like the dog who got across
the busy street:
not all of it was good
luck.
by Charles Bukowski, from what matters most is how well you walk through the fire (Black Sparrow Press)
writing about down and outs skid row alcohol relationships with women
German American raised catholic abused shy, alienated teenage acne desperate days of the great depression
attended Los Angeles City College art, journalism literature flirted with the far-right
grew bored failed a physical and psychological exam classified 4-f
“on a Santa Monica Monday.” first story published at 24 grew disillusioned quit writing “on the sidewalk and in the sun”
ten-year drunk bleeding ulcer nearly died begin writing poetry
first wife small-town Texas poet decapitated in India religious zealots obscure cult
traumatized by wife’s death resulting in a powerful series of poems “I hold fast to me, that’s all there is”
series of muses a daughter ten years with post office wrote a column “notes of a dirty old man”
quit the post office decided to starve full-time writer a loner unable to live alone “because I’ve got a pocket full of dreams….”
— kenne
Charles Bukowski in Ham On Rye writes of Henry Chinaski, his raw voice alter ego having a beer with Becker:
“. . . I’d like to be a correspondent in Washington, D.C. I’d like to be where big things are happening.” “Washington’s crap, Becker.” “And women? Marriage? Children?” “Crap.” “Yeah? Well, what do you want?” “To hide.” “You poor fuck. You need another beer.” “All right.” The beer arrived.