Early Morning Dreams: The Awakening and Starting All Over — Image by kenne
“In art and dream may you proceed with abandon. In life may you proceed with balance and stealth. For nothing is more precious than the life force and may the love of that force guide you as you go.”
writing about down and outs skid row alcohol relationships with women
German American raised catholic abused shy, alienated teenage acne desperate days of the great depression
attended Los Angeles City College art, journalism literature flirted with the far-right
grew bored failed a physical and psychological exam classified 4-f
“on a Santa Monica Monday.” first story published at 24 grew disillusioned quit writing “on the sidewalk and in the sun”
ten-year drunk bleeding ulcer nearly died begin writing poetry
first wife small-town Texas poet decapitated in India religious zealots obscure cult
traumatized by wife’s death resulting in a powerful series of poems “I hold fast to me, that’s all there is”
series of muses a daughter ten years with post office wrote a column “notes of a dirty old man”
quit the post office decided to starve full-time writer a loner unable to live alone “because I’ve got a pocket full of dreams….”
— kenne
Charles Bukowski in Ham On Rye writes of Henry Chinaski, his raw voice alter ego having a beer with Becker:
“. . . I’d like to be a correspondent in Washington, D.C. I’d like to be where big things are happening.” “Washington’s crap, Becker.” “And women? Marriage? Children?” “Crap.” “Yeah? Well, what do you want?” “To hide.” “You poor fuck. You need another beer.” “All right.” The beer arrived.
“Like trains of cars on tracks of plush
I hear the level bee:
A jar across the flowers goes,
Their velvet masonry
Withstands until the sweet assault
Their chivalry consumes,
While he, victorious, tilts away
To vanquish other blooms.
His feet are shod with gauze,
His helmet is of gold;
His breast, a single onyx
With chrysoprase, inlaid.
His labor is a chant,
His idleness a tune;
Oh, for a bee’s experience
Of clovers and of noon!”
— Nature, Poem 15: The Bee by Emily Dickinson
******
“The world is rude, silent, incomprehensible at first,
nature is incomprehensible at first,
Be not discouraged, keep on,
there are divine things well envelop’d,
I swear to you there are divine beings
more beauty than words can tell.”