Archive for the ‘A Brother Lost’ Tag
Thomas R. Turner, May 23, 1942 – November 13, 2014 — Image by kenne
Standing above me in Smith’s
Awkwardly looking down through a clipped hesitancy
Our lives came together.
From within, mutually canceling
Vignettes of naturalness and gender-cliche.’
She kissed through closed lips of
Pristine openness.
Innocently I loved.
After my return from the war
I stepped into a world of Kafkaesque embraces; yearning . . .
Paled with particular sensations
I was momentarily blinded.
I could taste the t.s. eliot peach that I dared to eat.
Looking at you the way you love the first person
Whoever touched you
And never quite that way again
I savored my idea of you but missed the obvious.
Paradoxes betray the limits of logic
Not of the reality, we shared.
Your “passion” was stillborn through so dame necessary.
The aesthetics of my artifice went against the grain:
Recreation, utilitarian achievements, and another
sexuality
Were hidden karmas of your soul.
My recondite preoccupations rung up as
No sale.
But let’s
Skip the arguments.
I already know how the story ends:
A not so cryptic message –
Don’t be naive
You could only gaze into the distance at my life.
— from 24 to Harwood and Cropsey — No Road Back Home by Tom Turner
######
A Brother Lost
Now that it’s daylight at five,
I am awakened by the
Soft sounds of morning doves,
Delaying for a moment
My feet hitting the floor —
Just long enough
To think about my brother
Who no longer writes,
Calls or returns mine.
There’s no reason.
He has never needed
A reason to not call —
For him,
calls need a reason,
even made up ones —
Sharing a quote,
Name now forgotten,
Need to reach out.
Now lost in the northwest,
Imprisoned by his mind,
Lacking courage to create.
Now each day, I live with
Words no longer spoken,
Words no longer written.
— kenne
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Tom and Kenne Turner
This is a posting I had drafted not knowing that I would be getting word Tom was in the hospital and after talking to my nieces and Tom’s nurse, made arrangements to fly to Seattle. It was not to be, Tom passed away November 13, 2014.
Much has happened since then , sharing, grieving and loving. What follows is the draft that was not finished. The video was put together the last time I saw Tom, which was at his daughter, Lisa’s wedding on the island of Lummi near Bellingham, Washington.
kenne
******
My brother has been in my thoughts a lot lately. For sometime now, he has not been responding to email and voice-mail. Lisa, his daughter tells me he has become a “bonafied hermit.”
“Healthy in body and mind,
I end my life before pitiless old age
which has taken from me my pleasure
and joys one after another,
and which has been stripping me
my physical and mental powers,
can paralyse my energy and break my will;
making me a burden to myself and others.
For some years I had promised myself not to live beyond 70;
and I fixed the exact year for my departure from life . . .”
— Paul Laforgue
(This was hand written by Tom on a statement from the BigRock-Health Clinic, Tumwater, Washington — date not known.)
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Brother at Sunrise — Image by kenne
A Brother Lost
Now that it’s daylight at five,
I am awakened by the
Soft sounds of morning doves,
Delaying for a moment
My feet hitting the floor —
Just long enough
To think about my brother
Who no longer writes,
Calls or returns mine.
There’s no reason.
He has never needed
A reason to not call —
For him,
calls need a reason,
even made up ones —
Sharing a quote,
Name now forgotten,
Need to reach out.
Now lost in the northwest,
Imprisoned by his mind,
Lacking courage to create.
Now each day, I live with
Words no longer spoken,
Words no longer written.
— kenne
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